Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Bathroom Game

When it comes to the ladies' room,
there are rules to abide --
unspoken standards to uphold,
understood etiquette -- pee-pee protocol
and doo-doo decorum, if you will.
This code of conduct especially
relates to the public work restroom.
Those who play the game will
experience the least amount of
nasal discomfort and embarrassment.
Those who refuse to adopt the laws
of the stalls, will suffer the due penalty.

Rule #1: Enter said establishment.
Rule #2: Scout out the available stalls.
Rule #3: Match up the ladies at the sinks to the appropriate toilets.
Rule #4: Avoid entering the stall that was most recently vacated, at all cost.
Note: This will require quick assessment and problem-solving skills on your part.
Rule #5: When possible, allow for an empty stall between you and the next pottier.
Rule #6: Select the best choice at that moment.
Rule #7: Toilet as necessary.
Rule #8: Proceed to your assigned sink.
Rule #9: While washing hands, glare at any noncompliant pottier, letting the offender know that she is out of line.
Rule #10: Exit the establishment and wish any incoming traffic good luck.

© 2007 Amy E. Hall

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