Saturday, January 21, 2017

Miss Misogyny

What if we gave
patriarchy a breather
and placed women
at the helm
of the world --
mostly large, loud,
"girls' club" cronies
with inside connections
who view men
largely as pieces of meat --
regardless of their
intelligence, experience
or finely tuned talent --
women
who snicker to each other
when a man enters the room
and verbally rate his hair,
face, pecks, crotch,
rear-end, weight and
sense of fashion
as soon as he
leaves the room;
women
who value the
opinion of other women
over any man
nine times out of 10;
women
who, as a matter of course,
assume that women
deserve to be consulted
and considered before
any man's opinion is ever suffered;
women
who appreciate a
good-looking, fit, fashionable
man as a means to an end --
flirty ego booster,
Playgirl playmate,
sperm donor, or,
maybe, if he's lucky
and hot enough,
a trophy husband --
women
but who deem all
men who don't pass
"the pretty test"
as nothing more than potential
back-room assistants,
ghost writers
and support staff;
women
who openly mock and belittle
any man who gets
"emotional" after
being treated as less
than a woman or simply
a sex toy or merely
an annoyance
to be endured;
rude, harsh women
who -- no matter
what they look like --
are only interested in men
who look like
fashion plates,
models and personal trainers;
women who base
their opinions of
a man solely on numbers --
bust, waist and inseam --
women who dismiss
any man who challenges
them with a genuine
concern or thoughtful
comment or genius idea?

Oh, but wait!
That would be
disgraceful,
disrespectful,
discriminatory
behavior,
wouldn't it?

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

(He is offended)

He is offended
when misogyny is found
to be offensive.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

(Christmas cat)

Christmas cat –
bedside greeting
begins with a pounce

Wednesday, December 07, 2016

Office Motor Mouths

I have a co-worker who literally
eats in her cubicle all day long --
course after course,
odor after odor,
lip smack after lip smack.

I have another co-worker who literally
talks to everyone in sight all day long,
cornering and capturing his victims
in verbal spider webs
without restraint; without mercy.

Oh, that the eater
would share her food
with the talker.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Eating on the Job

I am well aware that we fuel our bodies with food.
We all do it.
But there's something annoying about the people
who eat all day long on the job.
I know you've got to eat,
but I don't want to hear every
crinkle of every potato chip bag,
every crunch of every blasted chip,
every burp of every Tupperware container,
every scrape of every spoon in your bloody Rubbermaid.

I don't want to hear every slurp
of every sip of your coffee, then tea, then coffee, then tea.
I don't want to smell every whiff
of your canned peas marinating in the microwave.

I don't mind witnessing the afternoon snack
or occasional meal at your desk.
I'm simply sick of being subject to your
eight-course meals all the live long work day.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Thanksgiving Traffic

Three miles in an
hour and a half --
bumper-to-bumper
interstate congestion and
stomach indigestion,
angry drivers with
hungry kids, no
exit in sight, and
no explanation.
Arrivals delayed;
hugs and hand-
shakes on hold;
dinners postponed.
It was easy to get
irritated and impatient,
until we saw
the white sheet
on the ground.
Suddenly, we were
thankful for the
fume-filled air that
we were breathing.

Friday, November 18, 2016

(the leaves mimicking)

the leaves mimicking
the sound of raindrops in the
wooded autumn hills