I may have to get
angry at you in order
to get over you.
original poetry and haiku
for Lindsay
She has magic
in her fingertips
and glitter
on her lips,
creating communities of
catalog clippings and
magazine men
on canvas and foam board
with rubber cement
and the sparkle
in her eyes.
Paper strangers
become neighbors
with the shape of her hands,
as she carefully selects
her sticky society,
giving the two-dimensional
souls the chance
to connect
with us.
They speak
with their eyes,
causing us to pause,
reflect and wonder,
and remind us
that glue
is thicker
than blood.
It was as if
we were on a mountain top --
beautiful view, serene scene,
solid footing --
and then,
all of the sudden,
your new best friend
showed up
and the two of you
parachuted off
the mountain together,
leaving me utterly alone.
The moment you left the mountain,
an earthquake erupted,
causing the ground to
disappear from under me.
Ever since, I've been clinging
to a tree root on the side of the mountain;
trying not to die.
I'm standing in the kitchen;
what was our kitchen.
You had a baking nook
in our kitchen,
a nook in which you prepared
homemade pizza and
gourmet cheesecake.
We shredded the mozzarella
by hand, always saving a
little bit for our puppy dog,
so you could pour a pile
onto the floor for her to enjoy --
the same floor on which
we would occasionally drop
ice cubes, which she would
promptly grab in her mouth
and relocate to the living room
rug to chomp on.
Now the kitchen is quiet.
There is no more
homemade cheesecake
or cheese on the floor
or a doggie to eat it.
There is no more you.
There is no more Us.
I miss being a team,
a feeling you don't understand,
because you teamed up
with someone else
well before our divorce
was final.
I was all in.
You were the only one
on my dance card.
But it often felt like
you had one foot in
and one foot out.
Twelve years into our marriage,
you started playing footsie
with someone else,
followed by the hokey pokey.
Before I knew it,
you put your whole self in
with your new best friend.
You always were
a dancer at heart.
I just assumed that
you would always be my partner.