Muckety-duck

I wrote the following poem for the Civil Conundrum project last year, but -- due to the current Duck Dynasty suspension controversy -- I felt it appropriate to post "The Bible Says" today.

The Bible Says

Where do these Yankees
get off?
We have God on our side.
If those godless Yanks
just read the
glorious Gospel of Good News,
they'd know that
we are righteous,
God-fearin' folk.
If those pagan
Union soliders
would study
the sacred scriptures,
they'd see
that we are obeyin'
the God of Abraham,
Issac and Jacob.
If those arrogant SOBs
would just have
the decency to
crack open the hallowed,
holy Word of God,
they'd learn
that havin' slaves
is part of God's marvelous,
master plan for mankind
and that ownin'
men, women and children
is a sign of the blessin'
of a just and jealous God!

Heck, if we
let our slaves go free,
all hell would break loose!
That's blasphemous!
No, sir!
That's foolishness!
If we did that
what's next --
our women folk
runnin' around
wantin' rights --
to read, write...
VOTE?
GOD FORBID!