Work Out Your “Bowelvation” With Rear End Trembling

There are few things
more satisfying
than a good poop.
Not the poop itself,
of course, but
the act of
eliminating
the dogged doodie.
After a good dump,
all seems right
with the world
(or at least
with your bowels).
You can breathe
deep again
and leave the can
with your shoulders back,
ready to take on
the next meeting,
class or diaper,
knowing that,
in the end,
things have a way of
working out.

Here's to Hoping

In a matter of days, the winner of Alimentum's inaugural poetry contest will be announced. I am waiting, with great hope for a good word. Regardless of the outcome, I will soon focus my energies on the next contest, The MacGuffin's 15th National Poet Hunt Contest. Keep hope alive!

(standing at the sink in the ladies’ room)

standing at the sink in the ladies’ room –
through the wall to the men’s room,
hearing things I don’t want to hear

The Lord Giveth and His People Taketh Away

You threw me away
like an unwanted fetus.
I was too much trouble,
too much hassle,
too inconvenient.
I didn’t fit into your
busy, respectable life.
I was too big of a
problem to fit into your
Bible-themed day planner.
Jesus said that God cares
for even the pigeons,
but you don’t have
a second more for me.
You ripped me out of a
warm womb, my heart
still beating, with “Christian”
forceps so cold and a
glare so glazed
they would make
any abortionist wince.

Chem Lesson

Tuesday night, I entered The Hermitage Hotel's Valentine's Day Poetry Contest. I dusted off and submitted "Chem Lesson," a piece that I wrote as a graduating senior at Hope College in 1998. As always, any good news will be posted here.

I smooth my palm into
the dip between your
rib and hip bone
on the side facing
the ceiling. The tip top
of your big tip toe
makes my index finger
smile. The two interact,
as if old friends meeting
for the first time. Sometimes
there’s a connection
that happens between
body and soul, like
DNA at work or
the saving chemicals
that form antibiotic.

"The Food Show" Reading

I am planning to attend the Alimentum reading at Cumberland Gallery tomorrow night. For those in the Nashville area, come on out! Details here.

Folks

Roommates are strangers
who become friends
who become family.

Family members are roommates
who become friends
who are strange.

Exes are friends
who become family
who become strangers.

Note: Originally, this poem was separated into three pieces (Folks #1, Folks #2 and Folks #3). These days, I often read the three together as one piece (Folks) at poetry events.

Wilco Haiku Contest Winners Announced

Sadly, I was not named among the winners. See the lucky folks' winning pieces here. Congrats to those fine, minimalist poets!

(new year)

new year
new courage
fresh as the snow

Miles Davis on tap
grape juice in the stereo
a New Year's Eve day

Christmas cat –
bedside greeting
begins with a pounce

I Love Snow

for Julie

I remember
the Christmas
that you and I
mended our friendship.
You wore a
cool, retro
fur coat
and we walked to
the park across
the street from
Debbie's house.
That night we
laughed and sang
about snow
with the Christmas
lights shining
behind us
and the future bright;
ahead of us.

Common Round (Rumpster Dumpsters "R" Us)

Taking a dump is a noisy occupation.
One cannot poop with dignity or decorum.
Your Ph.D., LL.D., M.A. or B.A.
amounts to a pile of B.S. when it comes to BMs.
On the throne, we are all the same –
all princes, all paupers, all poopers.
Sure, our performances may differ –
some may grunt, moan, sigh or groan –
but the delivery is the same.
And it's not pretty.
There's nothing cute
about dropping a load.
There's nothing suave
about pinching a loaf.
There's nothing dapper about the crapper.
But we've got to doo what we've got to doo.
On the john or on the loo, we are all average Joes
and Jane Does and that's just the way it goes.

Haiku:2008 Has Arrived!

My third annual haiku chapbook, Haiku:2008 --- For the Record, is hot off the press, just in time for the holidays! If you'd like to order a copy of Haiku:2008 (or Haiku:2007 or Haiku:2006, for that matter), please contact me at hall_amy_e@hotmail.com.

Rob Bell Event Tonight

This evening, I will hear author Rob Bell (Velvet Elvis, et al.) speak.

Forthcoming Haiku Chapbook

My third annual haiku project, Haiku:2008 -- For the Record, is currently at the printer and should be available any day now. The "arrival" announcement will be posted here pronto!

Wilco Haiku Contest Entry #4

A summer morning
birth -- I felt as blue as a
ghost just being there.

Wilco Haiku Contest Entry #3

Summer trots by like
a ghost as I watch TV
live in Chicago.

Wilco Haiku Contest Entry #2

kicking the ghost out
of my hotel room into
the blue summer sky

Wilco Haiku Contest Entry #1

The band Wilco recently held a haiku contest, calling for Wilco-related pieces. I submitted four haiku featuring material from their seven album titles. Special thanks to my friend Matt Scott, who informed me of the contest. As always, any good news I receive will be reported here. Entry one of four:

sinking my teeth in-
to blue Yankee sky on a
cool summer morning