(Two squirrels and two robins)

Two squirrels and two robins
scampered away through the trees
like Noah's ark escapees.

Grade School Glories

for Ashley and Lindsay

We did it to
amuse ourselves
during the ride to
my community
softball games.
My little sisters
and I played producers,
creating makeshift
movie stars out of our
afternoon snacks.
We tore our thinly
sliced lunchmeat
into strips and gave
them each a name,
as we cast our own
mini musicals,
starring Miss Piggy,
Mr. Angus and
Mrs. Gobblet.
Somehow the
dancing pieces of
ham, beef and turkey
kept our attention
until we reached the
ball diamond, where
I would trade my
sandwich meat
for a glove.

(Two bonny bluebirds)

Two bonny bluebirds
ushered me across the bridge,
one bird on each side.

The Courtesy Flush

It's a simple solution
to a terrible problem.
Once the baby ruth
has been delivered,
send that puppy home.
Why some folks
refuse to flush their
refuse and spare
the rest of us
their putrid fumes,
I have no clue.
I submit that public
restrooms must be
outfitted with gas
masks to counteract
the air quality offenses.
To such offenders, I
have only one plea:
Don't let your poo
stew under you.

Passing Gas at Ponderosa

My little sisters and I were
eyeing the bountiful buffet
when it happened.
I tucked my head under the
overhead glass to get
closer to the cantaloupe
and grabbed a slice
with the plastic tongs.
Attempting to back up
and place the fruit
on my plate, I
bonked the back of
my noggin on the glass,
dropped the orange
melon on the floor
and cut the cheese,
all in the same instant.
Humiliated in my
preadolescent state,
I tried to slink back
to the table and
join our grandparents
unnoticed, despite
the unexpected
backside blast, as my
baby sister yelped:
"WAS THAT YOU?"